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Posts Tagged ‘LGBT’

 

What I am about to talk about maybe a trigger for people who have been the victim of assault, so here is my heads up to walk away freely if you need to. For those of you that chose to remain reading till the end, I have one more thing to say.  Some of you will not believe what I have written, they will think it blustery or self-aggrandizement and you too may walk away. It is not your time yet and I sincerely mean it when I say, I hope you never know what I am talking about. For those of you left, some of you will recognize what I am about to say and we will probably know each other, because on some fundamental level these experiences change us and mark us for life with an invisible mark recognized only by those that have been there.8150080687_faa25346ab_b

About 15 years ago I was living in New York. I worked at a nightclub in the City on weekends and caught the last train leaving Manhattan for Queens around 4:00 am after finishing my night. Before I left work I always changed into army boots, tied my hair back and put on a hat; which was standard routine when trying to stay safe. I also studied Tae Kwon Do, another way to stay safe.  There was a serial rapist in Queens that they had not caught and that was that; you do what you have to do and what you can do.IMG_1162.jpg

So this particular night, I got on an empty train car and sit down in an aisle seat. About 2 stops in, a heavy set white man in his 40’s steps into the empty car and looks right at me.  (Now here’s that bit about if you have been there, you will know what I mean.) That man looked at me and in that look, beyond that look, in the air and energy that surrounded him and surrounded me; I knew he was thinking about hurting me or killing me. He was analyzing the situation and his subject if you will.  There is no exaggeration to this I promise you, it simply was.Subway (1).jpg

The man walks through the empty train car and over to me, his footsteps echoing.  We studied each other as he walked to towards me, our eyes never left each other the whole time.  He then sits on the inside window seat right next to me, and we both turned in a very deliberate manner, looking directly into each other’s eyes.  What he was doing was reading me and he was exceptionally good at it, I knew this for a fact. This man was reading me for fear; he was hunting for it like an animal in the wild studies which of the herd he will target.

I had both my hands in my pockets; in my right a knife, in my left mace and I had my body which studied martial arts every night of the week. I knew where my strengths and weaknesses lay and held myself ready. I had also been studying energy and you better believe I had called upon the most powerful sign of protection placing it right there in front of me glowing. The man looked and I looked, and I could feel him reading my mind.

I said in a voice that only he and my gods could here, “I am not of afraid of you, I have been fighting my whole damn life and I will fight you. I will fight you with everything I have and you don’t know what I have and we don’t know who will win, but I guarantee you it will be bloody.” I said it over and over and over again like a mantra as he continued to study my face. I even allowed the slightest, tiniest hint of a sneer to form itself at the corner of my mouth.Liliane Hunt Peter Czernich Neck Corset

It may seem impossible to believe this was my reaction, but I understood darkness. I was raised in a house where the very walls were soaked and dripping with it and I learned to survive. I learned very early on to study, learn and fight, and not with a half-assed sort of approach, but as if my life depended on it, because it did. I had learned more often than not that meeting this kind of evil with full on rage could and would save my life.

We continued to stare, our eyes locked; this man and I with a lion that is in me growling ready to spring. I am not a runner I have never been able to run in my life, I have always had to fight and right there and then I stared at a man who was thinking of killing me. At some point he got up and he walked off the train, possibly in search of someone else. I wasn’t shaken; I was incredibly calm as I watched him disappear away from the platform. That night I went home, I slept, I did not worry, nor did I think about it. I just got on with trying to stay alive for another night and then another and anothera0ebb46b26fb44704463919df8c38dbe

This is a small piece of my private life. You may wonder why after all these years I have chosen to out myself, I have chosen to lift the curtain just a peak on who I really am. I am full of stories and that is only one. But this story, this one has been circling round and round in my head the last few days.

It keeps playing itself on repeat and I have to question “Why? What is its purpose after all these years?”

The truth is, outside of all the public hoo-ha, I am actually a very private person. For the most part, I keep my stories to myself and I am an introvert in the rather ironic position of having a career which requires me to be an extrovert. Many over the years have failed to notice me beyond the fancy hats and frocks. They have failed to see or grasp what lay underneath. That’s OK, I know what’s there, and I also recognize the ones that have it; that have that steel underneath their skin. They don’t wear it on the outside because they have nothing to prove, only to themselves. They are the old warriors the fighters who have hung up their swords because they got tired of fighting and they wanted peace. But the truth is many of the most peaceful of, the most Zen, were warriors once.Liliane Hunt C Morey Back Shot

Right now, I feel as though I am on that train, only this time I am not alone; my friends, family and my community are on that train.  The conductor driving that train is friends with the man and the man is not alone, he has friends. So call me a coward and I will look in your eyes and say, “test me”.

Don’t tell me to fight as if you were talking to a child who wasn’t born understanding there was no other option and don’t tell me to get over it, because it is my life and is the life of everyone in this country I care about. It took my 10 long years to become a citizen, to wave my small U.S. flag and feel like I finally belonged and that I finally had rights.

Here is my story, for my sisters and brothers out there who feel like they are waking up in hell right now and it has barely begun. I hear you, I see you, and I recognize you. You, yes you, who has been fighting your whole damn life to stay alive. I guess that’s it, that’s the message. I am not going to tell you to fight, or run, or judge you, hell no. I am going to tell you to do what you need to do to stay alive and I am going to respect the hell out of you for doing it.

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Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 5

June 1st saw the arrival of my mother from England, for the entire month.  She arrived with her suitcases full of my gold leafed, leather bound, complete works of Byron, two large boxes of chocolates, dog toys and an antique lamp from the inside of a steam train. Hand on my deliciously cold, black, heart. Outside of a large white cricket hat and some clothes, that is exactly what she packed.

 

Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015

June 13th, I hosted my first get together in Portland and continued my 8 year tradition of hosting a Pride Party. The space for my festive soiree overlooked the garden courtyard and waterfall of my new residence. The room itself was large, light and airy with an eclectic style. One might also be less generous and say there was such a random assortment of styles going on in the room that if there was a designer hired to create the ensemble one could easily assume the choices were made under duress with a large amount of caffeine, narcotics and whiskey in their veins (just a theory). Or perhaps an overworked assistant on his/her thirty minute lunch break and a one-stop-shop at Ross. I am willing to consider either option; a narcotic over load or an overworked under paid assistant. Either way the room needed to be swept ruthlessly of all its pseudo artsy stuffs before the event could unfold.

 

Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 3

Moving right along, I opted for the simplicity of candle light and a plethora of Moroccan lanterns, to create a simple elegance.

The food followed suit, with an elegant picnic type affair and an assortment of aqua fresca barrels, brimming with naughty summer cocktails. Our guests arrived throughout the afternoon and along into the evening.Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 4

Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 7

Bringing not just their beautiful sun soaked selves and their wonderful energy but also (in one particular case) a bag filled with organic home grown veggies and salad mix, which included cuddling lover carrots locked in an embrace. Lover carrots from a Bunny Momma, the bunny sent his apologies he was unable to attend due to a prior engagement.Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 5

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. A huge shout out to all the beautiful souls who attended the party and filled the SW waterfront with chic sexy leather, you certainly made my day.

 

Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 8

Aside from hosting a party for folks I had barely met, in an entirely different state, with my mother in attendance sans the cricket hat, this year we started a brand new tradition. One of the major elements of our lives back in San Francisco was our involvement with Loup Garou animal rescue and Northern California Family Dog Rescue. Finding and adopting just the right animal organization in Portland, that we could really get behind and get involved with, has been an important goal in establishing Portland as our home. After some research and poking about, The Pongo Fund was dropped into my lap so to speak and another new tradition began.

 

Pongo Fund 1

Drum Roll… not only did we host a super awesome Pride/house warming (although not at my home) party, in lieu of bringing food or drinks we asked guests to donate to the “love jar”. Through the generosity of everyone who contributed, we managed to raise $80.00 for The Pongo fund.  The check was mailed, received, and cashed this week.

 

June also brought the joyful news of marriage equality to the United States. I am not naïve to the fact that there is not still major work to be done. However, in the fight for equality it was and is a monumental moment in history that I am thrilled to have witnessed.

 

Liliane Hunt Pride Party 2015 12

It’s hard to believe that it has been almost five months since I moved. Summer is officially here; my living room furniture is not, so the throne, the saddle and the floor still reign supreme.Liliane Hunt Portland Pride Party 14 I am still nesting, decorating and finding the hum of my new home. I am discovering Portland bit by bit, and even getting stuck in traffic and temporarily unable to return home due to the World Naked Bike Ride.  You are not mistaken, a hot Portland night, filled with naked bike riders or scantily clad bike riders in fancy hats, tutus and colorful socks filled the streets.

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Ah, dare I say it? Portland is beginning to feel a lot like home.

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Purple Orchid - Liliane Hunt

 

Greetings and blessings from me to you! Whatever you believe (or don’t) there is an indisputable truth, at least in the Northern Hemisphere, that winter has been left behind and spring is finally here. Purple Orchid 2 - Liliane Hunt

 

Aside from the plethora of pastel (of which I have an intense and violent dislike), March hare madness chicks and chocolate… What has any of this got to do with me or you?  Well, we shall see.

 

Liliane Hunt

 

I have recently found myself reentering the world of social media and news after taking a hiatus to move to Portland. One of the things that struck me upon this reentry is how, in spite of our ability to immediately connect with the world and be in constant contact, it is so easy to become an isolated island. Believing implicitly in the lie that somehow everyone has this life thing neatly sorted out and that somehow out of sheer bad luck, you missed the bus.images The point I am trying to make here is that regardless of which side of the playing field you are standing on, at some point it is shady, at some point it is sunny, and at some point you’re likely to get soaked. Well, less likely if you are living in California, but you get my point.

 

Spring Table - Liliane Hunt

 

After my last blog post I received some really insightful comments and paying attention to “nature’s rhythms” has remained in my mind. The comments are still there if you are curious, right at the bottom of “Go Ahead and Pinch Me’.  Anyway, back to the rhythm of life as it were. Spring is a time of rejuvenation. Seeds of hopes and dreams are being planted and the darkness of winter is disappearing. As I prepared to lay the table for my Spring Equinox, I began by polishing the wood of my table and chairs. It was the first time in months that the wood saw a tin of polish and felt a hot, warm breath and I began by polishing and manifesting from the wood up. My table has a story which at some point I will share with you. It has a symbolism that extends far beyond, “it’s pretty”. Which to quote Shania Twain, “Never did impress me much.”

 

Lemons and Limes - Liliane Hunt

 

As I may have mentioned in the previous post, the loft where I now reside with my LBD (little black rescue dogs)  on the South Waterfront district of Portland Oregon, (It makes me smile every time I say that) has 20 foot floor to ceiling windows. During the day I raise the blinds for the plants and the dogs and I to catch the sunlight.

 

Throughout the course of laying the table, I cannot tell you how many people came by the window to stop and stare. Intention - Liliane Hunt

 

Intention is a powerful thing and for whatever reason people were drawn to it. It is a funny thing how many conversations I have had with complete strangers who were drawn to the windows.

 

Jed sniffing the air - Liliane Hunt

 

The Z - Liliane Hunt

You can follow Zorro on Instagram @_the.Z_

I must also mention what wonderful creatures dogs are. They often perceptively sniff the air and decide a person’s energy does not smell to their liking, and let out a distinct sound to say, “You may leave now!”

 

The effect of their barking is almost immediate and it makes me smile and give thanks to my ever vigilant watch dogs.

 

Wine and Citrus - Liliane Hunt

 

The table was laid with the intentions of my hopes, the pieces spoke, and their desire to be a part of the celebration was heard. The seeds were planted and then an almost immediate reminder, the need to reach out and connect.

 

And so, here it is from me to you, a reminder, a gentle nudge, or giant shove if you need it.It is a great time to plant hopes and dreams starting with good and healthy intentions. Reach out to friends, family, and loved ones to check in.

Ostara Intention - Liliane Hunt

To The House of Hunt, I love you one and all!

 

Liliane Hunt and The House of Hunt - Image by John Goyer

 

I have readers from all over the world that follow my blog and so I wanted to avail myself of that opportunity to take a moment for the LGBT folks and their allies in Indiana.  On behalf of myself and The House of Hunt, you are in our thoughts and you have our support.

 

Let us hope the bitter seeds of discrimination may be washed away and replaced by something resembling respect and equality.

Limes - Liliane Hunt

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